shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
