i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
