ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
