He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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