I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
