I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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