Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
