I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
