Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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