so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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