I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
