Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
