so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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