I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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