The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!