A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
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Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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