Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
