I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
