my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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