i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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