What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I touched a dick in church today
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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