plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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