I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
no, he came in my armpit
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
