His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
