i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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