He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
