I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
