If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
