Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
