i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
People in love make me want to vomit
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
