exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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