I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
