No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
