the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
