i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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