miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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