I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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