Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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