I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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