you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
