So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Michael Bay diarrhea
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
