I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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