I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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