It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
