Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
