Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
