i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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