What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
