I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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