these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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