And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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