Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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