Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
