and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
