Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
