is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
