i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i think i just lost a toe
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
