just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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