im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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