Cold hands, warm shart.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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