Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I want to have your abortion
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
