I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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