im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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