Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
